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The alleged first instance of a bartender mixing some with gin and calling it a martini is not known.

1870s: The Martini-Henry rifle is invented and some claim the cocktail is named in honor of this British rifle because "it has got quite a kick." 1870-1874: A bartender named Julio Richelieu is credited for inventing the drink in his Martinez, Calif., saloon.

So while we were all sad to say goodbye to the SATC girls, we were ecstatic to welcome a new bunch of misfits, in the form of HBO's Girls.

"The dating process at 40 is just awful," she says, with feeling. You don't want to go to bars, so how do you find a decent person?

He's also about the most fun, intelligent, filthy-minded, egocentric, self-effacing and happily contradictory guy ever.

"I came from a working-class background, with a single mother, had very little, became a junkie, was miserable and was finally like, ' I have this thing, this power, this magnetism, I'm good at showing off, I've got to achieve something,' and so at last I got off drug addiction," he says at one point.

Finally, Sat Hari slides the needle into his arm ("Beautiful veins," she says), and Brand leans to the side.

"It's beginning nicely, right at the nut-bag epicenter, the warm ball-bag rush." Brand, of course, is the 35-year-old comic genius from England who arrived in America a couple of years ago to sleep with as many women as possible, just as he did back home, where five girls a day was not un­heard of, and ended up getting engaged to pop star Katy Perry. I don't pretend to enjoy anonymity," become a Beckham-size British ce­lebrity (only infinitely more notorious), and astound­ed American audiences, first by playing addlepated scene-and-girlfriend-stealing rock star Aldous Snow in 2008s , then by host­ing that year's VM As, during which he distinguished himself for insults tossed at the Jonas Brothers (for their purity rings) and George Bush ("a retarded cow­boy").

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